Fix Your Dialogue in Five Minutes

 I believe we can do it. We can fix your dialogue in just five minutes. No fluff. No theory. Just three practical tips to elevate your writing. We’re not merely going to talk about craft; we’re going to apply it. My goal? To give your work an edge with readers and editors by equipping you with three easy checks to enhance any line of dialogue, no matter how lackluster.

Here’s a preview:

1) Cut unnecessary words

2) Create subtext

3) Control the pacing

 We’ll apply these principles to our sample dialogue:

“Margret, you know I don’t like soup! It reminds me too much of the day Mom died. Is there anything else to eat?” Wendy exclaimed loudly.

I know, I know. It needs some work. That’s why we’re here. Over the next five minutes, we’re going to play editor and pick this line apart. If you’re ready, start that timer and let’s dive in…

Cut Unnecessary Words

Time for some tough love.

If a word isn’t pulling its weight, cut it. If it’s redundant, cut it. Not adding anything crucial to the sentence? Cut it. This is one of the most important tips I’ve ever learned. If you take nothing else from this blogpost, please note: this is the big one.

So, are any words in our sample dialogue unnecessary?

“Margret, you know I don’t like soup! It reminds me too much of the day Mom died. Is there anything else to eat?” Wendy exclaimed loudly.

Oh yes.

Look at loudly. Do we really need it? Do readers need to know that Wendy exclaimed loudly? Isn’t the loudness implied? Does anyone ever exclaim quietly? Not really. This is like saying you ran quickly. Isn’t the quickness implied? Isn’t that the point of running? You will often find adverbs are redundant and inefficient.

We’re cutting it.

You will often find adverbs are redundant and inefficient.

Okay, but what about exclaimed itself? Do we need it? Is it adding anything new or vital to the sentence?

The answer is: hopefully not. If we’re relying on a dialogue tag—such as Wendy exclaimed or Wendy exhorted or Wendy inquired or Wendy muttered, etc.—to clarify our dialogue, then our dialogue probably isn’t strong enough. What do I mean? I mean the speaker’s tone should be implied by the dialogue itself (or by their accompanying actions, but more on that later). Can we as readers hear the exclamation in Wendy’s voice when we read her words? We should. If not, the dialogue needs some work. If we do hear it, then telling us Wendy exclaimed is redundant.

Okay, so exclaimed is excessive, but what do we replace it with?

When in doubt, said is the best and only dialogue tag you need. Wendy said will more than suffice.

But won’t it feel redundant if we’re always using said? He said this, she said that?

Nope. Said is a nearly invisible word. The reader will pass right over it. Exclaimed or heralded or asserted or any other said alternative, however, will distract the reader. It will also secure you a rejection note from most editors.

When in doubt, said is the best and only dialogue tag you need.

All right, so exclaimed loudly is gone. What else?

One more unnecessary word (for now): Margret. It’s her name, I know, but here’s the thing: in real life, how often do we address each other by name in conversation? Sometimes, but not often. Now, if Margret and Wendy are in a crowded room full of people, then yes, Wendy might want to get Margret’s attention. But, if they’re alone and Wendy is talking, it’s implied she’s talking to Margret.

Therefore, Margret is redundant.

We’re cutting it.

Here’s what we’re left with:

“You know I don’t like soup! It reminds me too much of the day Mom died. Is there anything else to eat?” Wendy said.

Tolerable, but we can do better.

Create Subtext

Too often writers make their characters say too much. The problem is, that’s not how people talk. In real life, people say very little of what they actually think. Instead, people bead around the bush. They say they’re okay when they’re not. They say what they think people want to hear. They’re passive aggressive. They conceal what they really feel.

In other words, they say less than they mean. When a character says one thing but means ten other things, that’s subtext. That’s how you insert depth and intrigue into a line of dialogue.

How can we do that with our sample?

“You know I don’t like soup! It reminds me too much of the day Mom died. Is there anything else to eat?” Wendy said.

Notice there’s no subtext. Wendy lays it all out. We know exactly what she thinks and feels. As a result, there’s no intrigue, tension, or believability. What if Wendy were more reserved?

“Soup. Is there anything else to eat?” Wendy said.

There. We’ve removed the melodrama and added subtext. What does Wendy have against soup? We don’t know. Not yet. Now there’s intrigue.

Also, remember what I said about cutting words? Often your characters mean more when they say less. When in doubt, cut.

But there’s still one more thing we ought to do…

Control the Pacing

Pacing is the speed and rhythm of the words on the page. The ideal pace will differ depending on the occasion. For instance, if two characters are having a tense, witty back-and-forth, the dialogue ought to move quickly. To do this, a writer may omit dialogue tags or stick to short lines. They’re going to keep things moving and keep distractions to a minimum.

The inverse is also true.

If a line of dialogue is meant to carry weight, the writer may wish to slow the pace. We can do this by inserting pauses.

Consider our sample dialogue:

“Soup. Is there anything else to eat?” Wendy said.

What if we moved the tag…

“Soup,” Wendy said. “Is there anything else to eat?”

Notice this creates a slight pause. It’s subtle, but it’s there. The slowed pace endows extra weight to Wendy’s line.

If a line of dialogue is meant to carry weight, the writer may wish to slow the pace. We can do this by inserting pauses.

Another way to augment the pace (and influence the tone) is by incorporating actions.

For example:

“Soup.” Wendy set down her spoon. “Is there anything else to eat?”

See how the pause is greater, and now we have body language from Wendy. Both color the dialogue in subtle but significant ways. The long pause between Wendy’s words creates tension, and the action communicates Wendy’s quiet soup aversion without giving too much away.

Different actions will create different effects:

“Soup.” Wendy clenched her spoon beneath the table. Her cheeks turned red. “Is there anything else to eat?”

Notice the difference. The longer the break between Wendy’s words, the more dramatic the pause. The slower the pace. Also note how our understanding of what Wendy is feeling can change drastically based off action cues. Before, she seemed quiet, almost timid, but here, she’s holding back anger. Her words didn’t change, but her action did.

In short, don’t underestimate how altering the pace can influence how your dialogue and your characters come across. Playing around with pauses, actions, tags, or line lengths can reshape and enliven your scenes, even without altering the actual words your characters are speaking.

Final Thoughts

Has it been five minutes? How did we do? After applying our three principles, did we fix our sample dialogue?

“Soup.” Wendy set down her spoon. “Is there anything else to eat?”

Not flawless, but it’s workable. Definitely an improvement. We’ve cut the fat, added subtext, and adjusted the pace. Though Wendy is saying less, her reserve suggests far more. I say mission accomplished.

With that said, it’s worth noting there is no singular right way to write dialogue. Different styles, characters, genres, etc. may benefit from a different approach. Either way, there’s value in the synthesis of ideas and techniques.

…

And there you have it. Three more tools for the toolbox! Running any dialogue through these three checks is sure to trim, deepen, and refine it. Of course, there’s much more to writing great dialogue than what we’ve covered here. This has been an intentionally brief look at the subject, but this method is a great start. A quick fix!

If you’d like a more comprehensive breakdown of the craft of writing dialogue, I recommend John Hough, Jr.’s book, The Fiction Writer’s Guide to Dialogue. It’s short but packed with good stuff!

Any recommended further reading? Let me know in the comments!